For Sid

Sid has given me a challenge ----- To write how my temple calling has increased my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel and His church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. He in return will write the story of his conversion to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I have been thinking on this now for nearly two months when he asked me to do it. So here goes a beginning -------

I am approaching what little Heather has lovingly called "old age" (that is because my hair is white). Each experience  that has come to me during these years of my life  have had a profound effect on who I am and my testimony. 

 As a child in my parents home I was tutored by my parents by example and by word the teachings of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I was taught that my  Heavenly Father loved me.  Ours was a home where family prayer was said, attendance at our church meetings was faithful, service was always given to others and to the organizations of the church.  All in all my parents truly raised me to believe in the gospel.  Days came and went and I grew into a young women who had to learn for herself if she truly had a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that this is His church restored to earth through the Propeht Joseph Smith.  I had depended so much on my parents to help me chose the right paths.  Some would call this a "borrowed testimony". 

With the help of good Seminary teachers and Church teachers a limited study was began of the scriptures and the Gospel of Jesus Christ and my testimony was growing.  Soon I would leave the security of my home and my little community of Ucon and head to school in Logan.  Now  strength would have to come from me to be faithful to gospel teachings.  My own  faith that my Father in Heaven and my Savior, Jesus Christ were with me and would help me in this new experience would be tested.  Were they real.  Would I continue to follow His teachings as a member of His church or would I falter.  Was my testimony of the truth sure enough to keep me on the right path.  College was such a new experience for me.  My home, family and friends in Ucon had been my life for eighteen years.  They were good and helped me to be good.

It was while at the University that I would meet the young man who would become my husband and the father of my children.  He was a young Latter-day Saint man from Bothwell, Utah.  He was a good man but was being a bit rebellious to his family.  I guess just trying to grow up and figure out who he was.  Our love was quick and sure.  We desired a temple marriage and we worked toward this goal. On July 28, 1960, we were married in the Idaho Falls Temple.
We would make our home in Bothwell, Utah.  Dale would continue on with schooling at the University  and I would become an employee at the new company in our valley called Thiokol.
We did well together and we found great joy and peace in being married.  We were faithful in our church callings and attendance and attended the temple often.  I really felt that I was on solid ground and my testimony was sure.  We were blessed with children and so enjoyed being a family.  I soon became  a stay at home mom and Dale had became a farmer and cattleman.

Funny how things can change so quickly.  Ill health started to take a very great toll on Dale and on our family.  I felt like I was riding on a roller coaster that was out of control with no one to stop it.  My faith that Heavenly Father heard me and loved me was slowly fading.  I felt alone in a situation that was slowly destroying me and my family.  Why didn't my Heavenly Father hear me, why didn't he answer my prayers and take this pain away?  Please just make it better.  Please make him better.  Please don't let him hurt anymore.  This was my fervent plea.  Why?

I remember so clearly even today the night when I poured my heart out in prayer.  I need help.  Dale needs help.  The children need help.  Please don't let him hurt anymore.  I loved him too much to see him suffer so much ----- both physically and emotionally.

Six weeks later I knew that my plea had been heard and answers came to me.  It was not the answer I had expected or wanted but I knew that for this man that I loved so deeply and completely it was the only answer.  He would not get well on this earth.  That day when I found him lying dead in one of the buildings at the High School I thought my heart would break.  Such an overwhelming feeling of "alone" came to me.  We were husband and wife, we were companions, we were friends, what was I going to do without him by my side.  Those precious seven children and the little baby I was carrying loved him so.  They needed him.  I needed him. 

It was at this time that Heavenly Father gave His answer to me.  A peace was wrapped around me that He was there.  That He would always be with me to give me strength and peace if I would trust and believe in Him.  From that day on I have always known this.  I have never doubted for one moment that my Heavenly Father has lifted me up and helped me through the rough times.  That He has smiled with me for all the great and wonderful times.  I know that he weeps when I weep.  I know that He loves me and I now that I love Him, my eternal Father. I KNOW THAT HE LIVES.

Now I am serving my Savior Jesus Christ  in the Logan Temple.  Has my testimony been strengthened? 
I am not sure if strengthened is the word I should use.  I know that my testimony has been sure for a long time. 
What my temple service is doing is adding to my testimony with a sure knowledge that God has an eternal plan  for all of His children.   From the beginning of time when He became the Father of our spirits His only desire is for our worthy return to His presence.  The same love and desire that I feel for each of my own family.    As I am blessed to officiate in the sacred ordinances the wonderful blessings of the temple give  they become more clear and beautiful to me.  There eternal meaning is more joyous to me.  I am becoming more in tune with my life and its purpose and meaning. 

In the outer foyer of the Logan Temple is a beautiful painting of the Savior with out stretched hands.  In my thoughts He is calling to me, Come Unto me (Deanna), ye that are heavy laden and I will give you peace.  (It was preserved when the temple was completely renovated.  I remember it in the old temple.)
  Each Saturday evening  when I have completed my assignements and have dressed in my outside cloths I will sit on the sofa facing this picture as I wait for Brad.  It is a time of reflection and thanks for me as I think of the gift of the atonement that He freely gave to me.  He loosed the bonds of death.  My life and those I love will never be lost to the grave.  We will rise again as He did.  We will reunite in great love and rejoicing.  We will be made whole.  We will feel love and joy so great our hearts will be full.  I know this is true.  I know that  He stands beside His father our Heavenly Father and their purposes are the same.  The eternal salvation of man. 

As Brad and I walk through the doors of the temple as we begin our work for the evening it feels so wonderful to leave the busyness of the outside world behind.  It is as if we have entered a corner of Heaven that is so beautiful.  So filled with peace and love.  As we pass through the temple doors to the outside world at the end of our evening I feel fortified by His power and spirit to meet the challenges that may come our way during the week.  Bless your lives my dear children with this same power.  Enter the temple often and you will find peace and you will gain a greater understanding of God's plan and His and the Savior's great love.

My dear family ---- eternal life is NOW.  We do not prepare for it tomorrow.  We live it today.  We live it in the way we fulfill our covenants that we have made with Him.  Whether we are at the beginning of our lives, mid way through or on the closing hours of life we  need to be living an eternal life now.  This life is part of our eternal life we are not just passing through to the next part.  My prayers are with each one of you.  You are precious in my sight.  Being a mother in Zion has been my greatest blessing.  I pray for you always that your lives will be eternal.  That our homes will be as Heaven.  That our love will be like the Saviors.  "As I have loved you love one another."