For my Journal ---- It has been a long week and tonight I am glad to be resting at home with Brad.
Last Sunday in the early morning I awoke to a very intense pain in my chest. I got up and walked around hoping to relieve it. This did not help so I tried sitting upright in my chair. Again the pain would not go away. At about four I woke Brad up and asked him if when he thought Paul would be awake if he would call him and see if he would come and help give me a Priesthood blessing. At seven the call was made and Paul came over. I am very grateful for the Priesthood and the blessings that it brings to my life. The day was spent trying to keep myself on an even keel but the pain continued. I am not a person that makes very many trips to the doctors office but early Monday morning a call was made for their first available appointment.
After the initial evaluation it was decided to do a blood panel on certain areas and do an x-ray of my chest. This x-ray showed some kind of problem in the area by my right lung. The blood panel was good except for a slight something with the liver. To get a better evaluation a cat scan was scheduled at the Tremonton Hospital for Tuesday morning. The usual procedure--no food or water after midnight. Arrived at the hospital for the ten o clock appointment. (This is such a nice hospital and I am truly grateful to those that worked hard to help it become a reality for our Bear River Valley) The tech was great and helped a new experience be easier. I really hate needles but she was smooth. After the scan was read they would let Dr. Schow know. I received notice that Dr. Schow would like to see me Wednesday. The scan showed that two lymph nodes in my right area by the lung were not normal. He would like me to see Dr. Goff in Ogden for his evaluation and recommendations. The call was made and Dr. Goff would see me on Thursday morning at ten. It was Teresa's day off so she joined Brad and I on this visit. Dr. Goff's office is on the north end of the MacKay Dee Hospital. Along with a million other people we arrived and searched for parking. My, there were so many cars in all of the parking lots. As Dr. Goff reviewed the scan with us he was so great at explaining and pointing out all the parts of my body that we were looking at. He answered my questions and concerns in a language that I could understand. He pointed out the nodes and the fatty tissue that surrounds them. Glad to hear that we all have a fatty tissue around our hearts and insides ---- not just me. The diaphragm looked okay so the hernia that I had suspected was not. Since my gall bladder has already been removed that was not the source of pain. But he also felt very strongly that the nodes were not causing the pain. He strongly suggested a heart evaluation. He also felt that the nodes should come out. He did not think that they were cancerous but could not say for sure until they are biopsied. But he felt they are not. However, he said that he had just cared for a man who had just returned from a mission with his wife. This gentleman had a small spot on his lungs. He said that he really felt strongly that it was not cancer but then he decided that he should check and be sure. It was cancer ---- so you never know. I still must make a decision on this.
Thursday was also Brad's seventy second birthday, so we brought Teresa home to tend baby Tyler and we headed to Maddoxs for lunch. We had such a nice lunch and visit. A stop at home for a rest and then to Kents for cake and ice cream for family that night.
At this point the pain was less but still there. I was very tired but still unable to sleep. I do wear my emotions on my sleeve and the tears come much too easy. Also, I was becoming very concerned about the lesson I was to teach on Sunday. I had studied and made my plan but I had not yet written it down in the format that I use to help me teach. Time is running out, but I just did not feel up to doing it.
Friday morning was a another trip to the hospital for an ultra sound of my liver, pancreas, spleen, stomach and thyroid. Dr. Schow was still concerned about something going on. Cute tech with a "Jimmer" jersey. He did seem a bit confused when he moved the the left side of the Thyroid and found nothing. I smiled when I told him it had been removed many many years earlier with a tumor. He was so nice. Very impressed with the hospital staff.
When Teresa called Friday to say that Dr. Schow would like to see me it all came out. The nerves got the best of me and the tears began. "I just can't --- I just want to rest----nope I won't come." I had been told that the ultra sound looked fine except the thyroid is enlarged. At this point lets just call it quits and I will just deal with it. She asked to talk with Brad. Two against one. Brad went to the office to talk with the doctor. He now has a new profession. He says that he would make a great used car salesman. Yep---the doctor wanted to admit me into the hospital for the night where I could get some relief from the pain and get some rest. So Brad said. Oh! how funny. Brad asked me to "PLEASE" do this, you need to rest. Nope --- not going to ----- he really must have been good because I finally went. Arrived along with everyone else in the late afternoon. They were swamped. What a crazy admittance. And what a crazy night. I was put in the room right by the nurses station so that they could monitor me I guess. REST ----- not in the plan. Hooked up in both arms and probes on the chest. No curling up on my side for a good nights sleep. I know that the medicine they gave me would have allowed this because the pain began to subside and I think a sedative for sleeping was also in the orders. But also another cat scan was in the orders for the morning. This time it would include the lower part of the abdomen so I would get to drink the wonderful "Smoothie" during the night.
I had taken my I Pod with me so I put in the ear plugs, turned to Josh Grobans new CD "Illuminations" and tried to gather myself together. I love his song "Feels Like Home"
Soon it was midnight and I still had not gotten to sleep --- but the pain was way down. The first smoothie was brought in. YUCK Also when I would relax my oxygen level would drop and Beep, Beep, Beep would go the monitor. They put oxygen on me at about 12:30 and that helped. The next three SMOOTHIES would come at four thirty, five thirty, and six thirty. This was not too bad except that they made me need to go to the potty bad. So about six times during the night it was a call to the nurses station to come unhook me so I could go. The scan was scheduled for eight.
Really when you think about it ----- hospitals are not places of rest ---- they are places where busy good people are trying to get everything done that needs to be done to help doctors help patients. Plus another funny part to the story. The heat went out at the hospital on Saturday and I was freezing. The room was down to about 64 degrees when the lady over all the nurses brought in a portable heater attached to a disposable blanket that she put on me. Oh! that felt so good. Worked like the old home hair dryers. Poor Brad was in his coat and still cold. Dr. Schow was able to have some of the scan results soon after noon and at about four I was in the car and GOING HOME ------ but still more to the story.
I would need to be in Ogden at the MacKay Dee Hospital at eight a.m. in the morning. Yes, Sunday morning. Dr. Coddall, the heart doctor would be their on call and he would like to see me Sunday morning to run a nuclear heart test.
Mary had told Brad that she would like to go with us and later that evening Teresa also called saying that she would like to go with us. When he told me this it was too late to contact the girls and say that we would be fine and they should be with their families. The plan was to leave our home at six thirty Sunday morning. We had been to the hospital on Thursday so we were more sure about the way there. (We did get a little off coarse on Thursday and took a round about way).
Brad had watched the weather on the evening news and the storm was suppose to stay to the south so we should be fine. HA HA! We woke up to snow, snow, and snow. Brad had gotten up at five to shovel the snow off of the sidewalks and in front of the garage, but it was still coming down very heavy. I called Mary to tell her to please just stay home ----- she said she would be fine and was on her way. I called Teresa (got Paul) to tell her that we would be fine and she should go with Paul today. No luck, they both were going.
Thank heavens for the pick-up and that Brad is a good driver. Just backing out of the garage we slid. The snow was so heavy that Brad could not push it all the way off so there was a pushed up pile that we slid through. The roads were snow covered and unplowed. I kept thinking that I 15 would be better, but it was not. The outside lane had a track through it but the inside lane was snow packed and untraveled. When the semis are creeping along you know the roads are not good. But sometimes bad things bring good things. We parked smack dab right in front of the main door. (That handicap card is wonderful) We headed up to the third floor to the heart section. It was so deserted. Not another person in sight. There were some lights shining through some doors behind the desk but no way to see if any one was there. What are we suppose to do. Where is this Dr? We decided to just sit and wait for a few minutes. Luckily a young man came out. He was very surprised to see us. Dr. Coddall had not told anyone that we were coming. Things were put in place. I figured this would be about a twenty minute test just like Brads had been. HA HA fooled you again. This nice little tech said it would be up to four hours. What? Teresa and Mary just smiled. I think perhaps sometimes mother is not let in on all the good stuff. The tech explained the procedure that I would be going through and the time frame. Kind of funny to think that they inject you with radio active fluid.
An IV was put in my hand and I was given water and graham crackers to drink and eat. Then I would need to wait until 9:30 to begin the first part. This was when the heart was at rest. When settled on the table the tech began to place the machine where it would need to be. When it started to lower down toward my body it was a bit unnerving. The tech assured me that all would be fine. (I knew that, but all this big stuff is over whelming). The hardest part was holding my arms above my head for the 15 minutes this part of the test would take. Towards the end my shoulders where hurting. I started to think about the book "Seven Years in Hanoi" that I had read many years ago and the terrible torture that these prisoners of war went through. How did they ever endure the severe torture and pain. As the tech helped me to lower my arms I told of the strange thoughts that had come to my mind while trying to hold still when I was so uncomfortable. These men and women that protect and guard us in the armed services are truly wonderful and I thank and honor them.
I was then moved to another room where a cute little lady tech would hook me up with monitors and I would walk on the tread mill. (She was really excited about the snow because she was going skiing after her shift.) The concern had been that perhaps I would not be able to accomplish the tread mill test with the poor knees. They had planned on just three minutes on the tread mill and then they would inject me with a fluid that would make the heart really fire up and work. I had been told that this part would make me feel very icky for about ten minutes. But that if I would drink some Coke it would help me to feel better. The caffeine in the Coke was the only thing that they had found to help. Well, surprise and score one for me. I walked on that tread mill for about seven plus minutes and they were able to get all the necessary information. (Really, not so fabulous ---- it was going at a slower pace and the incline was not bad. but I did get my heart rate up good)
Some injections were given for the next test and it was back to the machine. This time I was prepared for what was to come and had decided that I would just sing hymns in my mind. My favorite "I Stand All Amazed", "The Lord is My Light", "There Is A Green Hill Far Away", "I Am A Child of God", and of course "I Love You A Bushel and a Peck" made the time seem so much shorter. The shoulders were not on my mind and so I forgot about the pain. Dr. Coddall would let me know the results before we left and he would sent the report to Dr. Schow.
Now, all along I have told Brad that I never felt that this pain was from my heart. I told Dr. Schow that I have my father's heart and that is a real good one. I remember mom telling me how bad my dad felt when people would call him "Fat Clayton" and that "Fat Clayton" would die of a heart attack someday. Dad was always so meticulous about how he dressed and looked. I too am a larger lady and sometimes I feel so hurt by the looks and words. I think I can understand his hurt. But he gave me his heart. When Dad became sick with the cancer and lay in that coma it was that good strong heart that kept going.
Yes, I do have my Dad's heart. I now have test results to prove this. My heart is good and my veins are clear. I did not want to go to this test but now I am glad because this will not be a worry. Things may change someday but today I am at peace.
