I have been told that a blog can be published and printed into a book. So maybe today as I do my writing it will be in a book later on that my posterity will understand their Grandpa Dale and Me.Funny how dates on a calendar can set into motion so many feelings. It is said that the pain of death heals with time. Perhaps --- but I think that time helps you move on and become the best that you can but the pain still remains in that hallow part of your heart that died at the same time of your loved one. Then when the time comes each year it surfaces to the top and the ache again feels unbearable. Today my life is good and I am so blessed but memories are close to the surface. Thirty-one years ago today we lost our husband and father. "Dear Father please don't let him hurt anymore" had been my constant plea. Now his earthly pain was over.
We had spent such a fun day together the day before. Even though I was a little large and the baby was getting closer to coming (Due on Christmas Day), Dale, Natalie and I got into the big cattle truck and headed to Ogden to pick up a load of cattle that Grandpa Delbert had purchased at the sale. The weather was cold so Dale had placed a large piece of cardboard on the radiator to help generate a little more heat into the cab of the truck and Natalie and I were bundled up in a warm blanket. It was going to be such a busy day that I had packed a lunch that we could eat on our way home. Sandwiches, chips, cookies and some oranges. I can still smell the scent of those sweet oranges as I peeled them and gave sections to each of us to enjoy. It was a tiring but fun few hours. The cattle were unloaded and put into the corrals - the children returned home from school and Dale and I got cleaned up so we could head to Logan for his appointment with Dr. Canning and do a little Christmas Shopping. After seeing Dr. Canning I was invited to talk with him and Dale. He really felt that there was some improvement and that just perhaps things would get better. Words of such hope to fill our hearts during this Christmas month.
A special gift was to be purchased that night. A sewing machine for Tonya. She would be graduating the next summer and heading off to school where she would need the sewing machine for the classes she desired to take. She had become an excellent seamstress and her father wanted to be sure that she had what she would need. After many questions for the salesman it was decided that a little Singer would be the choice. We would be able to pick it up the next week. While walking the Mall Dale spotted this large white Teddy Bear with a big Blue Ribbon and wanted it for his then baby daughter, Natalie. He had so much fun carrying it under his arm as we browsed the shops. That evening he would spend fun time with the little children helping them to write letters to Santa and fooling around.
Wednesday morning the thirteenth Dale was going to be leaving early to help Uncle Clair at the stock yards in Garland with some cattle and then he was going to the High School to pick up some sheets of plywood that he had let Tonya use for a school float for the Fair Parade. He and Grandpa Delbert were in the process of setting up a hog operation and the plywood would be used to build the brooder stalls for the sows to have their little ones.
After breakfast it was off to school for the children and Dale would head for Garland in his little blue and white pickup. "Love you Hon - See you later" would be his last words to me. Natalie and I settle in for a little quiet time and rest from the activities of the day before. But --- the time just kept passing and Dale had not returned when he thought he would. I was stranded. Tonya used our car to get to an early morning class and Grandmother Dorothy was gone in her car. All I could do was wait and watch the time pass. After lunch when Grandmother Dorothy returned home I called and asked to borrow her car for a bit. Natalie and I headed for the High School. As we drove to the back of the school across from the Ag building we could see that little blue and white pick up backed up to the big door. There were a couple of sheets in the back ---- I yelled out for Dale but did not get a reply so I proceeded to walk into the semi-dark building. Then my heart dropped -- there he was lying on the floor half under a bench clutching his chest with a piece of plywood at the side. I dropped to his side but he felt so cold and still --- this could not be possible. I ran to the Ag Room crying and Mr. Merrell saw me and as I tried to make sense of my words I told him that I needed an ambulance, that Dale was lying on the floor in the building across the way. He got others to help and we returned getting a very frightened and confused little Natalie from the car. The ambulance crew came and did something (but he was gone). It was hard for Nick Estep to say those words to me. It was such a helpless feeling to know that nothing could be done. They carefully placed Dale in the ambulance and took him to President Taylor at the Funeral Home. With the help of Uncle Bill the children were gathered up at the High School, the Junior High and the Grade School before word of mouth would get to them that their father had died at the school that day. So many wonderful people to help us. I remember asking President Taylor "How does a mother tell her children that their father has died" and his reply "Very Gently". Yes, very gently, hearts are tender and little ones so frightened, but the peace of the Savior will enfold us and help us to be okay. Maybe never the same again but okay and we will smile and laugh and find that joy in each day that says we are okay.
A father whose love for his children was unmeasurable and whose love is still present as the guardian angel of our family. You know it is funny sometimes how God works his wondrous miracles. For we have been blessed with a Heavenly Guardian Angel and a wonderful Earthly Angel. For even in the tragedy of it all we were sent a wonderful man who guards and protects us each day here on earth. A heart can hold love for two wonderful men. I thank God for Dale and I thank God for Brad.
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